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 HAVE A LAUGH !

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Registration date : 2007-08-21

PostSubject: HAVE A LAUGH !   Fri Jan 18, 2008 12:10 pm

For all your (clean) jokes and funny stories. Smile
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PostSubject: Re: HAVE A LAUGH !   Sat Mar 15, 2008 12:35 pm

Here's a few quick gags: Laughing

A soon to be ex-bachelor tried to impress his bride.
"See that window? I washed it once."

Get the impression the nation's Weather Service has cancelled
Spring and brought back reruns of Winter.

Mama centipede, "Come quick! Junior just took his first fifty steps!"

My boss is a very cautious man. It takes him two weeks to make a
"spur of the moment" decision.

Laughing
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PostSubject: Re: HAVE A LAUGH !   Thu Apr 24, 2008 9:39 am

Faith In Pilots and Mechanics
After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas'pilots
(marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident. .... Enjoy!

My favourites are in bold!! - Admin.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.


P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S:
Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.


P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P. Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

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